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| I started out a pretty good kid. By tenth grade I started focusing more on "having fun" than my school work and my grades started to slip a little bit… L.C. I started out a pretty good kid. In fact, I usually had all A's and was in upper-level classes. I even played sports, learning quickly with natural talents. Moving around to five different elementary schools before I was nine years old didn't seem to phase me. I rarely had a hard time making friends, once I came out of my shyness that is. Finally in fourth grade my family settled down in one spot and I had a chance to really get grooved in. High School soon came and I was playing for the school's basketball and baseball teams. By tenth grade I started focusing more on "having fun" than my school work and my grades started to slip a little bit. I got drunk for the first time on New Year's Eve after I turned sixteen. I remember getting so sick that I swore to myself I would never do that again. That promise didn't last too long. After a while, it was pretty routine for my friends and I to get alcohol and drink on the weekends, no matter what the occasion was. I started to get caught up in the party scene and lost all ambitions, grades dropping more, total lack of interest in school, no motivation to play sports anymore. My senior year of High School was cut short due to my limited attendance, and I couldn't wait to hit the parties in the summer. My drinking had already escalated to several days a week by then. The entire summer after graduation was pretty much a blur to me, even wrecking my brand new car after having it for only two months. I was so enveloped by my desire to drink that I really didn't even care about anything else. I couldn't see through the social veneer. I was told by my Father that I had to go to college, so I enrolled in a State University that was known for it's partying and low graduation rate. At the time I figured it was perfect for me since I was in such a pitiful state of existence, even though I thought I was having fun with my so-called friends. College came and went in less than one full quarter. I was drunk literally every day and spent all of my money on alcohol, not attending class more than two days the whole term. At the University, I was starting to smoke more pot and tried shrooms, but convinced myself that I was okay because I was "only drinking and smoking pot", which is a gross misunderstanding. My money and "luck" soon ran out and it was time to head back to my parent's house. This failing and running continued for a couple more years, not ever standing up to myself and confronting my problems, knowing that I was much better than what I was doing. I moved all over the country trying to find a place that I'd be comfortable with, but I never realized that I had to be comfortable with myself first. I later was introduced to ecstasy, and I was told it wasn't like other drugs. It was just a little pill and you didn't have to smoke it, snort it or shoot it. After some more convincing from the peanut gallery, I ended up taking the drug and fell another level down the trap. From that point on, it only took six months to finally hit rock bottom and feel completely ruined. Being drunk every day, no matter where I lived, made me miserable beyond belief. Taking ecstasy now and then added to my depression and made me want to drink more, if that were possible. After five years of insanity, I finally decided to end it all, but went about it the wrong way. While my roommate was at work, I took his handgun and walked down the street to an empty park in the middle of a thunderstorm. Sitting on the bench, I couldn't help crying as I wished that I could take all of the world's pain and suffering away by doing away with my own. I took the gun and put it to my head, knowing it was loaded. I began crying even more as I thought about my family and all the things I loved about life. As I started to pull the trigger, screaming, I jerked the gun away from my head and it fired across the pond that was in front of me...that was enough, I knew then that I wanted to live and that I needed help to do it. I had been cast out by my family and my true friends because I had lied to them and stole from them, but I wanted to gain that part of my life back. I called my parents and they could hear in my voice that I was in great despair. They found a place called Narconon in Oklahoma and I was soon on a flight out. I remember arriving at the center and how much relief I felt, knowing that it was over if I truly wanted it to be. The next few months were incredible. I had completely forgotten what it was like to learn, be responsible and to be happy again. I truly felt like a new person, rehabilitation in the fullest sense of the word. I had wasted so much of my life and kept convincing myself and letting others convince me that I was only doing what a college-aged guy was supposed to be doing. I quickly learned that was the biggest lie that I had ever experienced, it's not normal to escape reality through the use of drugs. Thanks to the Narconon Program and the tools developed by Mr. Hubbard, I regained full control of myself and my environment with the ability to accomplish anything I wanted. That was three years ago. I no longer desire to escape from life, but instead experience it and decide what direction it's going in for me, taking it head-on. I have been able to rebuild valuable relationships, especially with my family. I have learned the true value in working hard at something I love, and am now a top-level executive for a large corporation. All of the things that I wanted as a child, happiness, excitement, success and love, I now have and it continues to get better! L.C. - Narconon Graduate |
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